


I will always be your Home

by Chanrenlee



Category: NCT
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Huang Ren Jun-centric, I love Huang Renjun, Jaemin is very soft, M/M, Mentioned Lee Jeno, Na Jaemin-centric, Post-Break Up, Renmin relationship is very soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26159686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chanrenlee/pseuds/Chanrenlee
Summary: Just tell me if you’re tired, if you want to end this relationship, just tell me and I will give it you” Jaemin says as he holds the hand of the man that he loves the most.“Why are you doing this Jaem?”“Because I love you Renjun, I love you so much even if it hurts”.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, minor Huang Renjun/ Kim Dongyoung
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	I will always be your Home

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is my first A03 fanfic and I decided to do it with RenMin, I really like their dynamics and I love their pairing. It's my first time to write these kind of fanfictions and I hope that you will like this one. THANK YOU AND ENJOY!

Jaemin knows that Renjun cannot give the attention that he wants the most and he’s very aware of the aftermath of this relationship, well he can’t blame Renjun for this one because he was the author of this hooking up thing so he needs to bear the pain alone. The only pros of this relationship is he can do whatever he wants, like visiting him in his apartment without his consent, he can hug or kiss him in the cheeks without saying a word and most importantly he’s allowed to say “I love you” even though the other boy is not saying anything. So, he’s here again, he’s here again in these four corners of Renjun’s apartment repeating the same routine and repeating the pain that he always gain in loving the older boy. He was preparing for their breakfast when Renjun suddenly entered the kitchen and wraps his arms around the taller’s waist. Jaemin was taken aback with this sudden affection, because he was the one who used to initiate those skinships to him and when Renjun does these small things for him it makes Jaemin fall for him deeper. He was very happy it made him feel so very important so when he feels the arms of the older boy digging on his waist he keeps on thinking that _‘maybe’_ , maybe he has small chance in reaching his heart. Jaemin was in still in his deep thoughts when he heard Renjun say something.

“Jaem... he texted me, he wants to talk to me and he wants some closure.”

When Jaemin heard this one, the smile that painted on his face falters into sadness. He felt very scared at this moment, he knows that someday all of his efforts will turn into ashes if Renjun decided to end their relationship and he knows it already, he fucking knows it, he just can’t bear the consequences after this and he’s not prepared for it, will he still able to meet the love of his life? What he will do after this? He should deserve to be like this because Renjun already warned him about their relationship. He just can’t accept the fact that for almost one year of them being together, the older can’t seem to find his importance and he always tries his best to make Renjun feel better even if it hurts his pride he will still do everything just for him because this is what LOVE should be right? This is what LOVE means to him. When Renjun told him about his past, how his lover leave him broken into pieces, Jaemin was the one who took care of him, he was the one who never leave by his side. Jaemin recalls the first day that he met the older boy, for him it was the time of his life and he was so sure that Renjun was the one for him but the question is, does Renjun feel the same for him? Well, he knows the answer for that question and he doesn’t want to hear it from the older. Jaemin clears his throat as he detach the arms that wrapping around his waist and turns around to face Renjun. He doesn’t want to ask but he needs to.

“Well, that’s great. What did you say?” Jaemin tries to smile for him. He needs to try. Renjun stares at him and he can see all the sadness and pain that he was trying to hide for years.

“I’m so sorry Jaem, I know that I don’t have the right to say yes to him because were over, it’s over but Jaemin.”

“No, don’t be sorry to me Injunnie, I know that I can never beat him and I am fully aware that I’m not the one who holds this” Jaemin pokes his chest as he tries to prevent the tears that will fall anytime soon.

“Jaemin, I love you, seriously, I love you” This is the first time that Renjun said those words for him.

“But you love him more, Injun”

“Jaemin, I don’t want to hurt you, you’ve done enough for me and I want you to be happy” Jaemin stares at him as if it will be his last glance for the older boy.

“Just tell me if you’re tired, if you want to end this relationship, just tell me and I will give it you” Jaemin says as he holds the hand of the man that he loves the most.

“Why are you doing this Jaem?”

“Because I love you Renjun, I love you so much even if it hurts”.

The first time that Jaemin saw the softness of Renjun’s personality, it was his first time to saw the older boy crying in front of him, tears started to flow on his eyes as he hugs Jaemin tightly. He kept on saying sorry as he buries his head on younger’s shoulder and Jaemin kept on brushing his back softly. When Renjun stops crying he faced Jaemin again, he saw how the younger eyes were dusted by tears, he wants to utter a word but Jaemin stopped him by saying.

“If you ever get lost again, just call me, okay? I will always be your home, Injun”

Renjun doesn’t say anything instead he gave him a big smile, the smile that he shows when he first met Jaemin and the younger feels contented by it.

“Let’s eat breakfast? You need to be healthy.” 

* * *

Renjun nodded as Jaemin guide him to the table. He knows, even if Jaemin doesn’t show it to him, he knows that Jaemin was very hurt and he wants to end that suffering for the younger.

When Dooyoung decided to contact him after 3 years of their breakup, Renjun was so sure that this will be the end of his pain. Dooyoung left a big part on his heart and when he decided to break it off it made Renjun shattered into pieces. He kept on crying and crying as he tries to find the wrong pieces that he made, he gave every part of his self for their relationship. He even sacrifices his own home just to be with him but at the end he gains nothing. Now, he’s here at the café when he and Dooyoung first met, he promise to his self that he will let his feelings go in order for him to be free but he knows that he’s lying, he can never let go of the feelings that cause him pain for how many years. Pain and suffering that make his heart numb and not letting someone to enter. The reason why he agreed on this meet-up is for him to know the answers that he’s been dying to ask for years and also to know if he has the same feeling that he’s been avoiding and denying for how many months. When Jaemin entered his life, he knows that the younger has interest on him, when they first met on a blind date hosted by his friend Jeno, he never knew that the taller boy would be so fond of him and after that short date, Jaemin was very determined to prove himself to him and he appreciates that a lot. When he was down and nursing his broken heart whenever he reminds something that he and Dooyoung does in the past, Jaemin was the one who took care of him and when he asks Jaemin to leave him even though he was very harsh to the younger, Jaemin chose to stay, he never leaves his side. Renjun was very disappointed to his self because he knows that he can’t reciprocate the feelings that Jaemin gave to him and he was so upset by it because he’s trying his best to open his heart but he felt that it would be very unfair to Jaemin. He remembers the time when the younger man told him that he loves him and he answers him right away.

“Jaemin, you know I can’t love you right? I’m not yet fully healed, I’m still a mess and now, I’m giving you the chance to find someone that will make you happy.”

“But you make me happy, Injun”

“Jaemin, stop it, please!”

“You know I can’t stop my feelings for you, I can’t stop loving you Renjun, please just give me a try. I don’t care what kind of relationship is this but I want to be with you, I want to stay with you”

Renjun saw the tears that rolling on Jaemin’s eyes and that’s the time that he first saw how the younger was so vulnerable to him. He was still on his deep thoughts when Dooyoung entered the shop, he doesn’t realize that the taller guy was waving towards him and when he sat in front of him he was snapped by the reality that he needs to face, the closure that he needs to accept.

“Hi” Dooyoung smiled at him.

“Hello” he also smiled, it was very awkward. How can you face someone that you’ve been ignoring for 3 years, it was very hard for him to contain his feelings that drowns him to the ground.

“How are you? It’s been 3 years since we last met”

“I’m fine, I’m doing really fine” _Lies. I’m trying my best to be fine and Jaemin is helping me to be fine._

They agreed to order first so that they have the time to gather their thoughts. It was not a mutual break-up to be honest. Dooyoung was the first one who told him that he’s tired, that he needs time for his self because he feels that his relationship with him was suffocating and Renjun understands everything of it, he understands to the point that he considers his self as nobody to Dooyoung. When the taller guy decided to take a break, he thought that he was just on a healing trip and he doesn’t bother Renjun at all, he didn’t called the younger boy if he was still alive or how is he, even a dot on the message he didn’t bother to ask that’s why Renjun has hinted that maybe Dooyoung doesn’t want him back. One day, the day that broke his heart so dearly, Dooyoung texted him that he’s breaking up on him and that’s the time that his world turns to black.

When they finished eating their orders, Dooyoung was the first one to speak.

“Renjun, I know I’m very too late for this but I want to say sorry, sorry for all the pain that I’ve causes you, for not bothering you when I was gone, for breaking up with you through text, for saying that our relationship was so suffocating and for leaving you behind without saying anything. I’m very deeply sorry for it.” Dooyoung reaches out for his hand to hold it and interlocks it with him. Renjun was not surprised by it and he expected it to happen, apologizing all over again was an excuse for him but for now he wants to believe that he was saying truth, Renjun clears his throat and answers him.

“Why did you leave me? Why did you break up with me? Am I not enough for you? I gave you everything, Dooyoung-hyung, every piece of my life. I can’t believe that you did this to me.”

“I know, I know Renjun, it’s my entire fault. I was scared; I was scared that I might not be good enough for you. My life was falling apart at that time, my family, my work and I can’t bear seeing you suffer with me just because my life was a mess. I thought things will change if I break up with you, I just want you to be happy without me Jun, I’ve always wish for that thing to happen but I was lying, I was lying to myself that my feelings for you would eventually fade.”

“What do you mean?”

“Trust me on this Jun, I’ve always loved you, no, I never stop loving you Renjun.”

Renjun was really surprised with sudden confession that Dooyoung made and he doesn’t know what to respond on this situation. This time, he thinks about Jaemin, he remembers every word about what Jaemin has said to him a few days ago and it made him realized the importance of the younger boy to him. It made him realized about his oblivious feelings for Jaemin, he was very stupid, and he was a fool for knowing that he already fell in love with him. Dooyoung’s confession was the answer for his question that he tries to ignore a few months ago, he was scared to admit it and he thought that he was still in love with Dooyoung but the truth is he was trying to make a fool for himself for ignoring his true feelings to Jaemin and this time, he willing to take a risk, he already knows what his true heart feels and it beats only for Jaemin.

“I really don’t know what to say at this point but the reason why I came here is not because I want to rekindle our relationship, It’s still hard for me to process things that you’ve said a while ago but I think you’re answers are enough to supply all of my questions. I think, we are the problem of this break up, you didn’t trust me enough to be with you every problem that you had and I also make you feel that I was not enough for you, my insecurities fed me up that’s why I gave my everything in order for us to have this perfect relationship but I failed, we both failed.” Dooyoung frowns as he looks down on the table and he slowly retracting his hand away from the smaller boy but Renjun continues.

“I really had a great time with you and thank you for making me feel that I was loved but this relationship made me realized that I also need to love myself. I was really drained at that time, I feel that I was all alone enduring the pain that you’ve caused me, I had to isolate myself from others so that no one will enter into my life but.. there was this man who came and he really took good care of me. He really loves me so much to the point that I was pushing him away from me but that guy stays, he stays because he trusted me so much. He had me at my worst and you had me at my best and I can’t afford myself losing him, not this time.” Renjun tries to contain his tears as he said those words to Dooyoung and the taller boy stares at him with a smile on his face, the smaller boy was confused but Dooyoung reassures him by saying.

“I expected it to happen and I respect your decision. I thought I had a chance but I think that the boy really makes you happy and I’m happy for that. I’m so sorry Renjun, I’m very sorry, I know we can’t be friends but I’m still here if you need someone to talk to.”

“I already forgive you hyung, I just want to end things properly so that I can free myself from the pain that keeps haunting until now and talking to you was a good thing, it made me realized the importance of loving myself first before giving love to that man that I cherished the most.”

“So, this will be end of it?”

“Yeah, this will be the end of it” Renjun smiles as he reaches his hand to Dooyoung, the taller guy gladly accept it as he also shakes his hand with him.

“By the way, what’s the name of the guy that you’ve cherished the most?” He asked.

“His name is Na Jaemin.” The one and only Na Jaemin.

* * *

_2 months.._

2 months had already passed since his last visit on Renjun’s apartment and he missed the older boy so much. Renjun called him after his conversation with his ex; saying that he needs more time to reflect on his self and he also told Jaemin to wait for him no matter what, the younger boy complies on what Renjun has said to him. The older also told him that he will be going back to China for the meantime and he can always talk to him if he wants someone to talk to and Jaemin understands, when it comes to Renjun he always understands. Their communication is always constant although sometimes, Renjun can be busy with some other things and he can’t reply on the younger’s notifications to him. Jaemin was about to call him when he hears a loud knock on his door, he jump out on his couch as soon as heard the loud noise banging on the door. Jaemin doesn’t expect someone and he’s sure that they will call him beforehand to inform him that they will be coming over. Jaemin smile grew bigger as he thought that maybe Renjun was here to surprise him, he remembers that the smaller boy mentioned to him that he will be coming over soon, so he immediately runs to the door and opens it with a big smile on his face but he was wrong, his smile falters to frown when the landlady had told him that he needs to save water because there will be a water interruption tomorrow and the younger boy nodded as he closes the door with a big disappointment on his face. He sighs and leans on the door when he suddenly heard another knock. He was really ready to get a fight with the landlady when he opens the door, he saw a small figure with a bagpack on his back and a luggage on his hand, he knows this person already, he really know this person well. Tears began to roll on his eyes as he hug Renjun right in front of his door, he hugs the smaller boy tightly and Renjun was smiling at him while caressing his back.

“I can’t believe that you’re here! I really thought I was losing you this time.”

“Well someone told me that if I ever lost again, I will just call him but I decided to go directly to that person.”

Jaemin was confused by his words and he pulls Renjun away from his hug. He looks at him and asked him. “What do you mean?”

Renjun just smiled at him as he kissed Jaemin on his lips shortly then pulls away from it.

“I just want to be home and you’re my home Jaemin, Always and Forever.”

Jaemin doesn’t need any explanation as he kissed the older boy deeply; he’s not scared of ending things anymore because these will be a new beginning for them.

*-*

_That night…_

The two boys were sitting on the couch as they cuddle each other while watching a movie, Jaemin was very impressed with Renjun’s flirty actions and he’s very happy for it.

“I love you” Renjun blurted out.

“I love you more and more” Jaemin answers as he pecks his cheeks.

“Jaem, can I ask a question?”

“Sure, go ahead” he smiles as he leans his head on Renjun’s shoulder.

“Why did you stay when you find out that I was not your blind date?”

Jaemin’s smile continues to draw bigger as he pulls the smaller boy into his arms.

“Because I know that you’re the one that I’ve been looking for.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments and kudos if you love this story. THANK YOU!


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